sometimes my husband does read this blog

I wonder if he'll read this entry too.

A few weeks ago my lovely husband Bob was planting our lilac bush (which because we live in California and the weather here is nonexistent said lilac is now sporting one tiny purple flower) and I was taking pictures of him and happened to blog about it, and said that my travel that day considering his birthday present was safe for blog fodder because he never reads this blog.

That entry, he did. I found that out two days ago, when again I was trying to do some shopping for him, and while I was unsuccessful, since I was close to his place of employment, I called him, and we met for an ice cream.

During which time I told him to just go ahead and order what I'd been trying to buy. And he knew what I was talking about because he'd read this blog.

Well, there you are. His birthday is this weekend, so I'll be spending that day with him, in addition to doing some laundry. He has to work too (not because I took him away from work the other day to have ice cream) and there is football to watch and a little bit of writing to do as well.

Maybe this has very little to do with writing. I was just surprised that Bob does read this blog. Of course he reads the one that has to do with his birthday.

Of course...

Happy weekend NANOing and whatever else you find amazing to fill your hours! (Football's on, I believe, and since the World Series is over, I will refrain from speaking of the Yankees. Yes, I will...)

better to write these at night...

When I don't have a NANO monkey breathing down my neck!

I'm done for the day, and I wanted to thank all those lovely supportive comments from the previous post. For whatever purpose I do write A LOT, and it's just, well, blessed, in so many amazing ways...

I was writing on the blog for my NANO project about the thrill of writing (no agony of defeat here!), just that I know I can get wrapped up in the whole editing/querying/is it ever going to be good enough to maybe get published process, and when it comes to NANO, to November, I let all that go. It's only about the words.

To steal from myself, I wrote...

The words have just been POURING. Which is wonderful, no doubt. It's this fantastic creative high that overrides the sense of what comes LATER, like editing and querying and all that.

Right now it's all about the words.

Writing, I don't think I blog enough about that one aspect. You know, the whole reason I'm here! Plunking down piece of language, one after the other, stringing coherent (or somewhat understandable) phrases, one after the other, and it's so great, fine, lovely, cool.

I feel so blessed to be a writer!

Maybe it's just NANO. Maybe it's only the wonderful notion of being part of this huge month all about authorship, the calling of setting fingers to keys or wrapping them around a pen or pencil, setting that instrument against paper. Whatever it is, right now, in this month, whether it's cold out or in the 70's, like it was today, it feels so right, intrinsic to this person I am right now.

Right now, I'm a writer. It's taken years to get to this point, but now that I'm standing in these shoes, I really, REALLY, well, love it.

And it's so darn true!! But I never wax poetic enough about it, just how incredible it is to WRITE! To have these ideas, this sense of need running through my head, my fingers. I have always wanted to be writing, not necessarily a writer per se, but to write and feel confident about what I'm plunking. Confident in that I can string some sentences together, but in also there are ideas, characters I'm trying to flesh into a semblance of real people. I recall trying to write AGES ago, when it was so hard, felt so miserable. Not only in the words, but the dynamics, like remembering to use quotations marks and commas and the little niggly things that before, for whatever reason, seemed impossible! The mechanics of writing was not fun, I recall that clearly.

(I do believe there is a time and place for all things. Maybe that's why I write so much now because I'm not nearly as young as I used to be...)

I guess what I want to say is it's about sitting down with that keyboard or paper and pen and just letting it go, the essence of NANO. Just writing for the sheer blessed joy that is getting those words out of our heads. Maybe it's crud, maybe a few scattered gems of brilliance, either way, it's letting go of inhibitions that dissuade us from putting these plots and characters and nuances down.

So for all out there NANOing or writing on your own schedule, rejoice! It's a wonderful thing, this being a writer...

Monday morning quarterback - Week eight

Due to time constraints because of NANO, the next few weeks are going to be of an abbreviated manner. So, let's get to business!

THE GOOD: Not my team. (More on that below.) What was good was seeing Denver lose to Baltimore, making the Broncos no longer undefeated! Also positive, even though they are in MY division, was the win for the previously winless St. Louis Rams. No one should end the season without a win. (Except for teams I dislike.)

THE BAD: The 49er's loss to Indianapolis. Only by four points and not until the end, but we were close, keeping the Colts from scoring a TD until a rushing score was made, stopping Colt QB Peyton Manning's run of a throwing TD in a straight string of games. Also poor was the Green Bay Packer's loss to Minnesota, which was awful for two reasons; obviously the Packers' not winning the game, but that their former QB Brett Farve WON the game with the Vikings. Farve, btw, was booed HEAVILY by GB fans when he took the field.

THE UGLY: New York not only won in baseball last night (Yes, I also don't like the Yankees) but the NY Giants were slammed in Philadelphia 40-17. Now, I don't have an aversion or pleasure with either of those NFC Eastern division teams, but the Giants had been 5-0, and now have lost three straight, and all I can say is what happened? As for the Eagles, they started off slowly, but have come on, although an embarrassing loss to the again in disarray Oakland Raiders (who lost to the San Diego Chargers) really made folks wonder. That NFC East is in a three way tie, along with Dallas, who beat the Seattle Seahawks. And I don't like Dallas either...

Now, as for the WRITING!! NANO is in full swing, and I've been busy. I'm feeling two novels might happen, especially if the last two days are any indication of what's in store. Tonight, in addition to a little blogging, the New Orleans Saints are in a battle with Atlanta, the Falcons just having scored a defensive TD. So, plenty going on here, and whether you're NANOing or not, daylight savings time has come to an end, and that means...

Winter, even here in California, is approaching!

that NANO time of year...

Yes, it's nearly November. For the last four years NANO has been in my life, and the rest of my family's lives. Sort of like a festival, and every year has been different.

2006 saw us still in Britain, but with an awareness things were going to change. Before the month of November ended, we'd made the decision that after a decade of living in Yorkshire, the US was beckoning.

That novel, Drop the Gauntlet was a love letter to a place that is within me, and not from all the tea I drink. There aren't words to describe all that living in England afforded, and forever I will be bound to that green, rainy, magnificent place. As if that quarter of my life filled far more than almost eleven years, and no matter how many sunny days I see, it will be tempered with a longing for gray skies, spotting that speck of blue, feeling such joy.

2007 we'd moved back, and had about six months of California under our feet. No longer homeschooling, and with Thea up in uni, I felt like I had all the time in the world. I embarked upon a hat trick that was completed, three novel hitting at least 50K each, completing two in November, the last wrapping up in early December. It was... intense. I'd not do it again, mostly because while two were okay, one was DREADFUL! The center was long gonna hold for so long.

That year was one where I dipped my toes into the world of write-ins, where I met some lovely folks with whom I'm still engaged. It was also a turning point; after DTG I hadn't written anything of significance, and was wondering if the previous year had been a fluke. It wasn't. Writing three novels in a month sounds insane, but I learned I CAN write, that I like doing it, and even while one truly sucked (no other way to phrase it) it was the PROCESS. Writing became, after that second NANO, what I was going to do.

2008 was far more relaxed. Only one novel, a sequel which came about easily, garnering over 130K for that month. I had a few manuscripts under my belt, knew the routine. Wasn't sure what was going to HAPPEN with this new found pastime, other than it kept me busy and not missing yet another child, as Bud had fled the nest, leaving only one child over which to fuss. The writing I did that month is some of my favorite, completing a story that I read now and still love.

I went to more write-ins, met Chris Baty at our pre-NANO get together (what a thrill!), and felt a part of the south Bay NANO group. (We put NANO in NANOWRIMO!) While I was writing in other months of the year, still November held a call, as if a siren, to create, indulge in this month from where it all began.

2009 begins in a few days; I have one firm idea, another sequel (hmm... what does that mean?) and perhaps, depending on how long that takes, a story that came directly from my recent trip to visit my kids, taking that left turn at Jesus. But first comes Memories of Home, a rather limp title, but as I said recently, if they don't have a name...

They're gone! Somewhat as this year seems to be flying. Wasn't it just NANO 2008, the tenth anniversary? Where have the last eleven months flew? Four years; I've been participating in this gleeful madness for four years. Boggles my mind!

Not that it takes much to do that these days...

So, if you'd like to be a buddy, find me here. I'm pretty quick with updating, and I post excerpts, trying to employ all the tricks Chris Baty and company put at our disposal. If you're not NANOing this month, well, enjoy that which sits in your lap.

not enough memory

Today I found a post-it note attached to the side of my PC's tower with the scribblings as thus:

13 Sept 2009
came up w/ Laura, Ari,
William & Kurt story-
needs a title...

I have NO IDEA what that idea was...

Along the side bar, under Writing Timeline, I list when I come up with ideas (that one doesn't seem to be included), when I'm writing things, etc, and as I was looking for the above, I found another idea, dated on 15 October 2009, which is only two weeks ago.

And I have NO IDEA what that idea was about either!!

If I give something a title, even a BAD title, it sticks. If I haven't titled it...

It gets lost.

This is so embarrassing!

Monday morning quarterback - Week seven

Such a busy day that I'm only getting around to this now, as the night game begins, Washington Redskins and Philadelphia Eagles. I spent part of the afternoon at the mall, one of the few banes of my existence. Writing about footie I know will be the antidote! (No writing tidbits this week...)

So, where to start? A crazy day yesterday, and let's just begin with MY team, who LOST, but won, all at the same time.

We lost to the Houston Texans, 24-21, only three points between us. Not like the three touchdowns that separated these teams at the end of the first half. How did we turn it around?

We got a new quarterback!

Sometimes it takes a loss to change the direction. Not even a whole game, and Coach Mike Singletary made the move. Shaun Hill was booted in favor of Alex Smith, 2005's #1 draft pick for the Niners who sort of imploded after two seasons. Yet, yesterday he came into the game, starting the second half, and threw three TD passes, all to tight end Vernon Davis, and nearly brought the Niners back from the brink.

Smith will start against the Indianapolis Colts this coming Sunday, and if nothing else, we have new hope.

That was our morning game, but other teams were playing, and one undefeated team, the Minnesota Vikings, were no long without a loss at the end. Pittsburgh ended their run, 27-17, which made us here all very happy.

Because the Green Bay Packers are in the same division as the Vikes, and the Pack WON! A big victory, 31-3 over the hapless Cleveland Browns. Bob was very pleased, especially as in the afternoon, another divisional rival, the Chicago Bears, were crushed 45-10 by the Cincinnati Bengals.

A very good day for Bob's team.

There were some lopsided scores, the above two, plus San Diego kicking Kansas City's butt, 37-7. New England Patriots ran rampant over the still winless Tampa Bay Bucs in London England, 35-7, while the New York Jets ran over the Oakland Raiders, 38-0, where another QB was taken out of that game, JaMarcus Russell benched in the second quarter.

But some close games too, mine, and last night's battle between the New York Giants and Arizona Cardinals. I was rooting for Arizona, which I shouldn't have been, as they are in the Niners' division. But I couldn't help it, and they pulled out a win in New York.

It's a crazy game I love, no other way to explain it.

Now, we're nearly half way through the season. Three teams are still undefeated, three without a win. The rest is a mish-mash of various wins and losses, the bye week still skewing the standings. In another month, the bye weeks will be history, and leaders will be firmly established, as will the running for the #1 draft pick in 2010. At this point, the New Orleans Saints are showing great fortitude, after getting behind in Miami 24-3, then storming back to win 46-34. Now that's a score!

I'm just pleased my team has shuttled a QB that didn't seem to get anything going for one with nothing to lose. Alex Smith has been through a LOT, but came out yesterday and threw like nobody's business. I'm not expecting a win against the Colts next week, but at least a stand to be made.

And if we can manage a victory, I'll be over the moon!

extreme ways

As I drove away from Jay's school last Wednesday AM, this was the sky that I caught. A gorgeous sight to start a road trip... Photo from 14 October, 2009

Today's title is a Moby song, and as I plot out a story that might be squeezed in next month, the house is quiet. It usually is this time of day, 7.58 AM, as Jay's off to school, Bob to work, but today it's even more silent, even with the loud tunes pouring from the speakers alongside the monitor.

Bob's off on a trip. He took his head cold with him, but left just enough here for me to eschew a walk this morning. And with him out of reach, the house feels hushed, abandoned, even as Guns 'N Roses head to the Paradise City.

Maybe the soaring volume can compensate for my better half's absence. Having gone to see Yo La Tengo with him on Saturday in Santa Cruz, my ears were squeaking, something that's been with me since oh goodness, at least the last fifteen years. All those years of headphones and Walkmans will catch up with me sooner than I'd like, I'm sure.

But I won't be cranking the music that loud this morning. My neighbors might not be so pleased if I do.

Squeaking ears aside, it's about work right now. No football to watch and no teams of which I care are playing baseball. While Bob's away, it's me, myself, a cup of tea and the computer. And paper and pens, and the thoughts of an old group of friends, a covers band, funerals and waiting. Waiting for a memorial service, as if passing that threshold is all that stands between one woman's heartache and what comes after the death of a beloved.

Yeah, my trip last week offered plenty of novel fodder, one I own entirely to my own lively, usually hilarious sister Lynn. At the cemetery where my best friend Dearheart's mother was placed into a crypt, my own grandparents are laid to rest. Lynn knew their places. Just turn right at Jesus, she said.

Turn right at Jesus, I asked?

Yeah, she nodded, squinting in her new glasses. So new she hadn't yet gotten her prescription sunglasses, and all through the service we were there for, she alternated between her specs and shades. I LIVE in my prescription shades, and was fine as the warm sunshine poured down over us. After it was over, I gave Dearheart a hug, her family too, then Lynn and I made our way through the tree shaded paths, towards the statue of Christ. Hanging a right, it only took a few moments, and there were our mother's parents.

Grandpa died in 1978, Grandma in 1990, on the very day Lynn was born. I didn't make that funeral, living out of the area (down here in Silicon Valley, actually!) and a few weeks out from having Bud. Lynn remembers Grandpa's funeral, she was only ten, I was twelve.

I was much older when Grandma died, already a mum and ready to do it for the second time. But that wasn't what stirred this new idea. Instead it was something Dearheart said, before her own mother's service on that Friday.

That she only wished Saturday would come. Pass right over the whole funeral thing, and just get back into life.

It's not that easy. Life gets back to routine, work, Sunday football, etc, but a loss doesn't only dissolve into the air once the memorial has passed.

And there was born a novel on that day of marking death. The Burial Watch, starring sisters Petra and Rose Robinson, Rose's husband Gray, Petra's recent ex-boyfriend Garth, and the rest of the guys in the band, Buster, Lovie, Dane and Michael. Co-starring Alica as Rose and Petra's only cousin, Rose and Gray's children Timmons and Liam, Dane's girlfriend Lise, and the departed Colin Timmons, Rose's first boyfriend and original drummer.

This all came to me driving home, taking bites of frozen yogurt that was bought right before I left, after getting petrol for the trip home. After the funeral on Friday and hanging a right at Jesus, I said goodbye to my sister, then drove to my kids' apartment, where I changed from a rarely worn skirt to my usual jeans. Then it was getting the petrol, the yogurt. Talking with my kids about their likes and aversions of the college scene, all the while aware it was nearly time to leave.

Dearheart's mum was 84, last week her time to go. My grandmother has been gone for nearly twenty years, and every day passes, some things with good, some times more work than it seems worth. The kids and I came back to their abode, my yogurt went into the freezer while my bags went into the car, along with clothes Thea wanted to get out of her place. Once I had keys, cell, wallet accounted for, I only retrieved the yogurt, headed to the car, and was on my way.

Then it was three hours home. Eating yogurt, listening to Kate Bush's Ariel CD, pondering the idea of death being done once the last mourners have left the grounds. Rose and Petra came to me as the miles ticked past, the quiet freeways of Interstate 5 and 505 allowing only for bugs to hit the windscreen, and with every splat came another piece of the puzzle. I've done this before, conjured a story while on that drive home, day turning to night as I reach the Bay Area. As 505 ends, merging into Interstate 80, traffic in Vacaville was smooth, no slow downs, and I sped along, letting this group jell.

Final names came on Sunday night while watching Chicago and Atlanta duke it out. Lovie is from the Bear's coach, Lise and Alicia's last names from Atlanta's quarterbacks, Chicago's great return man too. The only big piece I'm still missing is the name for the band, lingering out there in unknown space. If anyone has a great name for a band that covers anything from Carly Simon and Moby to AC/DC and Nirvana, bring it on! At this point, I'm running out of inspiration.

Or maybe it's there's no football on tonight, the husband's gone, and my teacup needs a refill...