The thin places

 

The hourly forecast for Saturday; indicative of my mood are the clouds, but if no rain falls, I'll be SO GRATEFUL (also indicative of my hope for the future).

Recently a dear friend sent an email about being patient, trusting, and celebrating exactly where I am right now. I was grateful for her grace, that peace, and the accompanying anecdote about happy pigeons proffering a glimpse between where I currently stand and a world just beyond the veil.

Where I am right now feels like thin ice, although Future Me is holding my hand, reminding that she just told me things were gonna suck. She squeezes my fingers as if to confirm that notion, the pressure not harsh but healing. She and I have been in some VERY DEEP VALLEYS, Past Me too, and yet here I am (or we are), breathing without difficulty on this bright, Thursday Humboldt County morning.

Family arrived on Tuesday, my sister-in-law and her partner. The birthday celebrations begin tomorrow, so today will entail grocery shopping and end of the list cleaning. Some guests will join us for supper Friday night, the bulk of the crowd sharing Saturday with us. Sunday will be mostly family, and by Monday all will have departed. An event months in the planning will be a welcome respite from a cloud I can't dismiss, but I can grab an umbrella, braving the next few years with appropriate gear and a smile on my face. Because while the results weren't to my liking, God willing the ensuing administration won't cause irreparable harm, or enact policies that endanger democracy to a tipping point.

Call me paranoid if you like, I won't be offended. I cannot fully express the deep sense of failure in my fellow Americans not only by Kamala Harris's defeat, but the inability of this nation to move past gender and race in choosing a president.

However, not all is lost. I cling to that sense as I double-check party planning lists, the line between this world and whatever comes next as slender as lawn fabric or crinkly leaves I'll rake later today. Yesterday and Tuesday and the last several weeks are gone, those hours cannot be recovered. But today is new, tomorrow unknown, and for now that's enough. This weekend will be heaped with beloveds, how amazing is that? The memories made will sustain me for, well, the rest of my cognizant life, which is a fine bulwark. And in the shadow of my corporeal existence on this planet, I won't dwell on the negative, but embrace whatever positive changes my prayers, actions, books, and quilts provide. Those are all elements within my control, and I'll do my utmost to move forward with grace and peace and anecdotes about whatever tickles my fancy.

Wishing you that same calm today!

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