Safeguarding the joy

Nearly finished with another small block for Alexandria. Fashioning another bit for that EEP behemoth is somewhat akin to keeping alive the flame of JOY right now.

While this blog remains about writing and quilting, something has altered. I have changed and no matter what emerges from the current political situation, my nation will never be as it was before.

I didn't wish to become a revolutionary. I'm fifty-eight years old, never wanted to be this damn strong again. But revolutionaries come in all ages, from all walks of life, performing tasks previously unconsidered. No one, or very damn few, take Revolutionary 101 in elementary, middle, or high school. And those who study such topics in college rarely have the opportunity to use all that learning in the real world.

The definition of revolutionary as an adjective is twofold: 1) Involving or causing a complete or dramatic change, and 2) Engaged in or promoting political revolution. Using it as a noun in this post feels odd, slightly liberating, almost peaceful. Not because I'm all hyped up to become a new person, but because in acknowledging this, I'm taking small steps to reclaiming my inner self, which needs to be lauded as much as everything else I do. My inner self, unlike Future, Past or even Present Me, needs JOY to thrive. JOY is the flame all I am and everything I do burns on, propelling me to love, write, sew, holler at injustices, craft this post. Crafting this post matters, especially when doing it with JOY.

A little bit of rain is currently falling, which assuages my heart that now is NOT the time to go out for a walk. I've been increasing my step count over the last few weeks, which has been good for my body, maybe helps with sleeping, but cuts into my time to do other things that are necessary, but right now time feels as squeezed as I have ever known! I require time to write novels-NOT HAPPENING! I need time to sew-kinda occurring. I ache for time to simply be a slug-that is DEFINITELY not happening, lol. Weeks ago all that mattered was spending time with my hubby, the fave hobbies, keeping abreast of family activities. Life was simple. Life was....different.

My life won't return to that previous mantra. Past Me has no frickin' clue of what's ahead, and honestly, Present Me doesn't either, which is truly for the best. No LOL's here, other than inwardly harnessing the essential JOY that will get me through what's coming. Future Me hasn't said jack since she admonished me to stay the course. That was over three weeks ago. In three weeks my country has been hurtled down a sharp, dangerous precipice, and we're not at the bottom of whatever awaits. Right now I'm steeled for that reality, or I think I am. Maybe I'm completely delusional, but at this moment, JOY must reign.

I'm putting JOY in all caps because JOY is what cannot be taken from me. Not in the loving of God, my spouse, family, and neighbor. Not in the crafting in all manners of creativity. Not even in the small protest I raise, and believe me it's minuscule in comparison to what hell has been stirred, yet even in my small abuela-way, noting the wrongs is imperative and doing it with lovingkindness is even more vital. Not merely for those to whom I entreat, but for MYSELF. In JOY I will stay the course. In anger, I would burn out tonight.

When Future Me told then-Present Me to stay the course, she didn't say: And do it with an honest smile. Perhaps she knew I'd roll my eyes hard, maybe even flip her off. Well, of course she knew; she's from the future and knows it all. Or most of it. She knew to merely tell me to hang in there. She knew I was going to lose it thoroughly. And she knows what I'm writing at this moment, although she's still keeping to herself. That's all right. Maybe to emerge would be too much for either of us, in what she'd have to keep under wraps, and for what I need to learn on my own via God's grace. That JOY has to be protected, nurtured, like a newborn baby. How precious and vulnerable are wee ones, and how much happiness do they bring to those in contact with them! Our JOY must be treated as such, because we're gonna need every last living ounce of JOY to withstand the domestic terrorism that the current American administration wishes to shove down our throats.

Fear. Oppression. Anger. Hatred. Bias. Hopelessness. So many despicable themes that will probably unhinge us for moments, but by maintaining a relatively keen grasp on JOY, we will be able to deflect the muck, warming and healing our hearts and minds (and maybe our physical selves) while we.... While we endure this assault on democracy, liberty, on our JOY. We will bend, and I have, but we shall not break. I don't need Future Me to tell me that. God's grace is more than enough.

Safeguard your joy. If that means taking a sabbatical from reading this blog, by all means do what you need to for your well-being. One day, hopefully soon, this site will return to previous topics, those of novels written and quilts sewn, of Future and Past Me never letting me forget they exist. Yet right now it's about the present. Present Me needs to keep alive the flame of inner me's JOY. If this stokes your JOY, AWESOME, and please share this will all you consider in need of JOY. And may you know JOY today!