Another excerpt about peace, love, and understanding
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| We went to France in 1999, but I can't find any pictures from the trip. Instead here's a 1999 shot from our British backyard. |
Okay so spoiler alert, but I think this scene from Home and Far Away is worth it.
Meanwhile my right arm has been tingling for over twenty minutes; maybe the pinched nerve is better?
Enjoy and happy Monday!
That morning it was only the women in the house, French spoken by two, but understood by all three. Chella also asked Sooz a few questions silently, but Sooz didn’t reveal much, other than yes she loved Richard, and no, she wasn’t sure how, when, or what they would tell Gilly.
Sooz wasn’t even certain if she would sleep with Richard that night, though she then smirked inwardly, not wanting to be apart from him. She missed him greatly, but also feared how this new element of their relationship would develop. Then she sighed, seated in the front room, a fire crackling. Chella had gone to the porch, talking in their native language to Max as though it being aware of the situation was just as vital as Squee’s knowledge. Then Dominique cleared her throat, entering the room with a basket of laundry. “Where’s Chella?” she asked in French.
Sooz gestured to the window and Dominique laughed. “She is unique. Dardram often spoke of her as though she was his beloved little sister.”
Sooz didn’t wonder how she might have been considered, certainly not as a former partner, then she smiled. “I am so glad you met him. I, I….”
“He told me about Melor. Losing her nearly caused him to….” Dumping the basket’s contents onto the sofa, Dominique began folding clothes. “Your past with him was long ago, yes?”
Sooz nodded. “It was a brief relationship.”
Dominique smiled. “But now you have entered one far more lasting.”
Sooz wanted to shrug, then she nodded. “We’ll see.”
“I could tell from when I first met Richard that he loves you. Gilly does too. She will be very happy for you both.”
“I, I hope so,” Sooz stammered.
“She will. I hope you won’t….”
“We won’t what?”
Dominique sighed, then sat next to a stack of folded apparel. “That you won’t suffer from others' perceptions of what love enables.”
Sooz blinked, then wished Richard had an actual multix. She wanted to ask if he had gone to Ukiah for the condoms so no one here would know the alteration of their…. “I haven’t thought about it to be honest.”
“You strike me as a most unusual colored woman, in that you don’t see yourself that way. In France colored women, men too, possess much of that essence, not like colored people here.”
Sooz sat on the other side of the unfolded clothes. “How are people of color viewed in France?”
“Mostly with equality, though there are always those with biases, and those biases range from all possible manners of prejudice; ethnicity, religion, class differences.”
“Is there a caste system in France?”
“Hardly. But there will always exist the divide between rich and poor.”
Sooz nodded, she saw that here with nearly all her clients. “I don’t think of myself as a…. A colored person,” she said stiffly. “I am a human being.”
Dominique smiled. “Yes, that was the first aspect of your character I noticed. Rare it is among any person to fully embrace that, but especially one of your race.”
“What is my race?”
“That of a colored person.”
“Really?”
Dominique trembled, then folded a shirt. “Yes,” she said softly. “That is not a declaration you make, but one made on your behalf.”
“Oh,” Sooz said, picking up a pair of trousers, folding them.
“What I mean is even though France is far ahead of America in treating people equally, I knew in coming here how colored people were considered. Seeing it in person has been…hard.” Dominique sighed. “But educational, if only for myself. In meeting you, I wondered, ‘How did this woman defy the biases that have always defined those of her race?’ What about you, Suze Noth, is so different? You do not see yourself as anything but human. You are not black, not Indian, nothing other than a woman, a doctor no less, deserving of joys and merits all people seek. I can see why Dardram married you, also why the relationship did not last.”
“And why is that,” Sooz asked, genuinely curious.
“Because despite Dardram’s permissive mood, he is hedged by pessimism. Perhaps that was why he chose Melor after you, needing to be with someone that didn’t threaten him. What I mean is you are exceptional, unique, like Chella. You do not limit yourself by others’ perceptions. Dardram, well, he does. He would like to shed that aspect of his character, but I doubt he ever will.”
Inwardly Sooz trembled from the weights of these considerations. Then she spoke. “But he loves you, he’s changed so much!”
“Yes, and for that I am glad. But we are who we are, no matter how enlightened or loved we become. I will always be the daughter of France, of a father who is haughty but compassionate, the child of his mistress who died when I was too little to know her, but raised by my Maman, Father’s wife, who loves me almost as much as she does her own. That in itself is a miracle, and I love her, and never fault her for slights I’m sure she doesn’t realize she insinuates. Dardram will always, in some small way, seek the lesser side of life, even if he is happy and carefree. That is why I will not have a child with him, not that he wants one, but if he ever did, I would not subject my offspring to a man who could not fully love them.”
Sooz didn’t respond, but suddenly much about this woman made sense, in her fondness for Gilly, how she had never spoken of her mother, and her love for a man so altered, but inwardly perhaps Dardram would always be…. “Do you view Richard similarly, he too has lost much.”
“Richard is very different,” Dominique said. “Despite monumental losses, his heart was never damaged beyond repair. Like mine, perhaps,” she smiled. “I learned early that Maman wasn’t my real mother, but she was my mother, and as I said, I never regret the slights. She forgave Father’s indiscretions, allowing me to join the only family I have. Richard lost his parents when he was young, yes?”
Sooz nodded.
“And Gilly is the same. Yet you are her mother, and I don’t say that to harm you or foist upon you more than is due. But Suze, I believe you too lost one dearly beloved. And now all of you, Chella too, can regain wholeness. And I look forward to becoming a part of that family, if you feel so willing to include me.”
Tears poured down Sooz’s face, and she grabbed a shirt from the pile, wiping her cheeks. Dominique leaned over the clothes, grabbing Sooz, pulling her close. They wept hard while Chella continued to speak to Max, telling the dog that the men would be back soon.
