Being okay with things beyond my control

From a couple days ago, snapped by my husband, seated inside the run with the chickens. I'm gazing at Nadia Chicken, off screen, while most of the rest gather near the fenced off pomegranate bush. I think chicken #8 was sunning herself along the back of the workshop that butts up to the run.

Mis-sewing rows, diverticulitis, in general getting older, falling in love with sewing squares again, accepting life isn't in my control, the Serenity Prayer, ironing seams the wrong way, etc, etc, etc....

God, grant me the grace to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Amen.

Whew! What a few days it's been, and in that I do include my lost weekend of sorts, spent suffering from an acute attack of diverticulitis. The recovery has been about as much of a 180 that the misery was, which at the end, or rather beginning of this day, is absolutely WONDERFUL. Needless to say, but I'll type it regardless, I am happy to be feeling better, extremely grateful for prayers, love, and support, and am ready to face life with this minor-ish (when I'm not nagging my large intestine with ibuprofen, dairy products, and whatever else makes it angry) ailment always in the background.

Because after last weekend, I am fully aware that diverticulosis can't be ignored, or I end up, um, pretty damn sick.

Welp, those paragraphs cover a good chunk of what's italicized, lol. Although I could say a little more about aging in general; mind over matter matters A LOT. I don't feel, um, old, by which I don't mean to sound full of myself, but I was the third youngest cousin of twenty, and despite being the eldest in my own immediate family, I grew up surrounded by aged relatives proffering me a life-long perspective of not being the, um, eldest. My youngest told me I was the matriarch, which kinda blew my mind, in that, um, welp, huh. Fifty-nine and both parents gone and okay, matriarch me right up there. But in my brain, I'm still a kid, not in an irresponsible way, more that of humility. And I think that's a fine way to approach aging, not thinking I know everything, but being open to learning something every day, even if it pertains to diverticulitis, 'nuff said.

When I took this section off the ironing table, immediately I found my mistake. But not every unplanned occurrence is the end of the world.

Anyway.... What about all this mis-sewing and erroneous ironing huh? Basically I turned upside down the two top rows of the current quilt WIP, stitched the third row in place CORRECTLY, then found my error in two Anna Maria Parry squares aligned smack next to each other, one upside down. D-O-H!!! But I wasn't so bothered that I retrieved a seam-ripper, instead pressing open the long seam permanently attaching those rows together. And despite that ridiculous mistake, I happily continued stitching squares into long lines, unbothered to this project's eventual purpose, more enthralled by the magic that is finding fabric which makes me smile, then allowing my machine to do the heavy lifting. Which only means I sat at my sewing machine and sewed blithely as if I hadn't taken a year's break from machine piecing. And other than pressing seams to the left instead of the right, all is fine with this quilt top that truly has no distinct purpose other than to give me something to do and use pretty prints and accept the treasure of a project that wholly behooves my life at this current moment in time.

A moment when I still can't hand-sew, am healing internally, am gracefully (if I can be so bold to say so myself, humility momentarily forgotten) acknowledging that if not for all the whacked-out rubbish in my nation's capital, would I have turned so needy to my Savior, immersing myself in The Word, the Spirit, the reason for my measly being? I don't know, but if NOTHING ELSE, the current American administration rekindled my focus on Christ, and for me, welp, all is good.

Six rows done; if you're so inclined you can go to the previous post to investigate how this quilt was originally designed. I'm fine with the alteration. Now to finish this project properly!

I don't mean to belittle the immense trauma suffered by countless people affected by one person's selfishness and greed, cruelty and power-hunger. All I am saying is I am okay with things beyond my control. No one can steal my joy, which isn't placed firmly in this realm, but wafts through layers of corporeal life and a veil at times so thin, we step through unwittingly, embraced by beloveds long gone, healing through their prayers and of course renewed every moment by a loving God who cannot be shoehorned into what this world thinks God must be. Who God is and how God is portrayed are at times very different. Because God loves everyone, not solely those sanctioned as worthy by a corrupt, wicked government in Washington D.C.

Okay, this matriarch in the making is getting off her high horse before I fall and incur worse damage than angry large intestines caused. Yet that's where I am right now, grateful for MUCH, not feeling my age or not mentally lol. Embracing what I can, leaving aside what's not mine to sort, and offering prayers for others to know healing, peace, and love. May these gifts be yours today.