Can't Be Done Alone is published
It's ALWAYS a thrill and pleasure to announce the release of a new novel! Somehow that never gets old.
Can't Be Done Alone: The Hawk Book Five is a story close to my heart for the subject matter introduced, as well as a new character, dear to Pastor Marek Jaworski. Funny to think halfway through this saga new faces are still emerging, but with five novels left in The Hawk, some of the plot had to shift from Eric and Lynne Snyder, Renee and Sam Ahern too.
This installment focuses on Seth Gordon, cousin to Laurie Abrams. Seth's story becomes paramount to Eric, once he learns that Seth isn't returning to New York from Florida despite the Synders' having left for home. That niggle turns into a nightmare for Eric, who cannot shake the sense of being torn from his family, especially now that Lynne is pregnant with their second child. Only after a heartfelt discussion with his pastor and friend does Eric begin to find peace, but it's short lived after Stanford Taylor calls with news none on the West Coast wanted to hear: Again Seth has been hospitalized, and the outlook is grim.
How far are we willing to extend ourselves to save our brother or sister? That's the heart of this novel, and for Eric and Lynne both, huge demands are being made. As Lynne tells her husband, it's one thing to be insightful when the harm isn't directed your way. But when the threat is personal.... Thus Eric is again altered, but this time Lynne isn't alone. And that's good, because her steady presence is required not merely for Jane, but a Polish Lutheran pastor confronted with memories he never imagined having to consider.
Often when mentioning this saga, I denote how I had no idea upon its conception how INVOLVED it would become. In writing the paragraphs above, I'm brought back to this tale's seemingly simple beginnings. Yet much like in our own lives, one thing leads to another, then another, the ripples stretching far beyond our imaginations. Now with the addition of Mrs. Gunnar Henrichsen, Marek's story can proceed accordingly, because at the halfway point, much remains to unfold.
If women's fiction, historical fiction set in the 1960s, and magical realism appeal to you, give this series a go. I suggest starting with Give Her My Love, Book One of the saga, however if you feel adventurous, jump right into Can't Be Done Alone. That title perfectly sums up my life as an independent author; there are many to thank, especially my husband. Family and friends have contributed along the way, and seeing it will be twenty years this autumn that I've been at this crafting fiction game, I am keenly aware of how necessary is familial support. Twenty years? Dude!
Below is the first chapter of this novel, but don't let the actual chapter number dissuade you from giving it a look. Like all my books, Can't Be Done Alone: The Hawk Book Five is free, and is available at a wide variety of online retailers. Enjoy this slice of 1963, and thanks for reading and supporting an independent author!
Chapter 104
That evening Lynne maintained the façade as a mother of one, even though Agatha and Laurie often caught themselves chuckling together. Laurie was amazed at how easily Eric kept the secret, but he didn’t dwell on the painter’s ability to shield the truth. Laurie simply enjoyed knowing what Stanford didn’t until the couple snuggled under their covers. Then Laurie implied he knew something, withholding the facts until Stanford practically begged for the information. As soon as Laurie stopped speaking, Stanford gasped, then sighed. For a moment Laurie wondered if he had strung out his lover too far. Then Stan began to smile, then chortle. He stopped himself before a belly laugh could emerge, in part Laurie realized, that Stanford was trying to ascertain how far along was Lynne. Then Stanford cleared his throat, asking Laurie that very question, albeit it in a circuitous manner. Laurie was blunt, trying to keep his voice even. Yet he wanted to scream in laughter, for as soon as the news hit Stanford, he leaned away from Laurie, flopping into the center of the bed. Laurie restrained himself from full-on hilarity, but did manage to soothe Stanford’s mind, that if nothing else it was probably the last baby to be conceived within their home.
Both Laurie and Stanford had to work on Wednesday and as all had guessed, Stanford made an early exit. Lynne slept late, waking even after Laurie had left, but the Snyders were spending that day with Stanford’s father, who didn’t inquire about the dark circles under Lynne’s eyes. Michael was too enchanted with Jane, who flirted shamelessly as the foursome explored Central Park on a rather warm spring day. They had lunch at Michael’s home, where he apologized for not having hosted them overnight during their stay. Eric noted how glad they were that Jane was mostly good humored what with all this bustling about. Then Michael smiled, recalling the trio still had one more trek to Brooklyn. Michael’s eyes twinkled, which made Eric and Lynne chuckle. But the Snyders were unaware of Michael’s exact meaning. Even he knew of the friction between Wilma and Rose over a certain chocolate cake.
The Snyders left Michael with the relief that they hadn’t needed to explain Lynne’s fatigue. They arrived back at Stanford and Laurie’s, where promptly Lynne went to nap. Jane was harder to convince, but finally she too fell asleep. That left Eric with some free time, during which he sketched Agatha in the kitchen, at her insistence. Then she smiled slyly; she hoped that before Eric left he could get Stanford and Laurie to pose together.
Eric admitted he wished for the same and Agatha laughed. “Leave this out for them. Stanford will ask about it and you can explain. Or if he asks while I’m here, I’ll just tell him you got bored and pestered me.”
“He might ask, better to talk art than about Lynne.” Eric smiled, then gazed at the drawing. Agatha looked little like her Queens’ counterpart, her bearing so formal. Also motherly, but from a distance. He’d sensed no difference in how she treated them, so why had he depicted this reserve within the sketch? Maybe to cause Stanford to pay attention, or perhaps it was Agatha to purposely make the distinction. Eric studied her uniform, not that dissimilar to what she’d worn last week at home. Skirts and buttoned-up blouses, though her shoes had been brown, not black, her hose the same. She had often donned an apron, but it wasn’t white, usually brightly colored. Here she seemed regal, where in Queens, while in charge, she wasn’t so stiff. Then Eric shook his head. Stiff wasn’t the word. Here in this apartment she was….
The boss, and Eric wanted to chuckle. In Queens, while Donald was a quiet man, he was clearly the head of the family no matter how loudly Agatha might bark. Within this household, though an employee, she was also the chief cook and bottle washer, what Sam would say, but there was nothing demeaning about that role. Without Agatha, Stan and Laurie’s world wouldn’t hold together.
Did the men realize that, Eric wondered. He gazed at Agatha, who wore a knowing smile. She certainly did and now he laughed out loud. Yet, she wouldn’t press Stanford to pose for his client. She simply had permitted Eric to sketch her in a manner that outwardly presumed her place within this residence as that of a domestic. Now Eric felt subdued; it would take this subtle yet powerful woman to get Stanford to let down his guard, for other than Laurie and Michael, only Agatha had fully permeated Stanford’s thick shell.
When it came to the art dealer, Eric didn’t discount where he, Lynne, Jane, and of course the coming baby stood. They had all crawled under Stanford’s skin, much to his chagrin. Yet he remained wary around them, why he’d left for work so early that morning. Eric wasn’t bothered, only intrigued. He couldn’t wait to see how Stanford approached any of them when he came home, not to mention how he behaved tomorrow in Brooklyn.
Eric could almost predict how that trip would proceed. The taxi ride would be a chatty affair, only Stanford offering little discourse. Once at Wilma’s, Stanford would deftly lead Eric to a quiet corner where they would talk about work. On the way home, Stanford would continue that discussion while Lynne and Laurie recounted all sorts of Gordon gossip. Seth wouldn’t dominate that conversation, Eric smiled. It would center on a bevy of women not that dissimilar from the ladies in Queens.
“Are you looking forward to tomorrow?” Agatha asked.
Eric laughed. “Was just thinking about that trip, and yup, I am. Will probably talk a lotta shop with my dealer.”
Agatha turned to face Eric, a smile on her face. “Indeed you will.” She returned to stirring the pot of soup on the stove. “I wonder what Mrs. Gordon will make, for dessert, you know.”
“Well, if it’s anything like that coconut cake Laurie’s mother baked, good grief. I’ve put on ten pounds during this vacation.”
Agatha had a gentle laugh. “Sometimes Laurie brings home slices of chocolate cake. Maybe she’ll fix that for you folks.”
“Well if she does, I’ll let you know. Should we try to finagle a piece for you?”
“Oh, don’t worry about me. There’s still half a sweet potato pie from yesterday.”
Eric nodded. “Yeah, I can’t wait to see what Marek thinks of that. He adores Lynne’s pumpkin, but I think sweet potato might become his new favorite.”
Agatha turned around, a warm grin on her face. “Do let me know what he thinks. I am curious.”
“I will and while I’m not a betting man, I wouldn’t be surprised if you received a thank-you note from him.”
Agatha chuckled. “You just tell me what sort of sweet Mrs. Gordon fixes for you all and I’ll let you know if I hear from your pastor.”
“Agreed,” Eric smiled, sipping his coffee.
That night Stanford gave Eric and Lynne his congratulations, but it wasn’t until nearly the close of the evening when he allowed himself to fully express his excitement, which was still hedged in what Eric felt was disbelief. The Snyders discussed it briefly before Lynne fell asleep. Maybe Stanford never imagined any sort of procreation could take place within his home.
On Thursday morning, there was nowhere for Stanford to escape; he, Laurie, and the Snyders would eat lunch in Brooklyn and wouldn’t be back until late, what Stanford assumed. Agatha wasn’t staying in Manhattan all day; she would leave as soon as the rest had departed. If anyone was hungry later, leftovers remained in the refrigerator. Stanford would let Laurie and Eric manage the reheating.
As for Lynne…. Stanford wanted to give her the appropriate compliments, yet felt somewhat subdued. He wished to speak to Dr. Walsh about it, but truthfully, what would he say to his shrink? Yes, Stanford felt awkward that Eric and Lynne had probably gotten pregnant there in Manhattan, that was certainly more information than Stanford had needed. But what business was it of his, in that they were adults and this sort of thing happened between men and women and…. And that was where Stanford wished to wriggle from his skin, which then angered him. What difference did it make, and how many nude paintings of Lynne had Stanford admired, and of course the Snyders had wanted to add to their family, and…. And he so badly wished to approach Lynne, grasp her hand, look her in the eyes and tell her how pleased he was for her. Lynne was a wonderful mother, she made Eric very happy. Why then was he being so damn reticent about sharing in their joy?
He had considered it at work yesterday, finding himself alternately wanting to tell Miss Harold, then recoiling at sharing such intimate news with his secretary. Emily knew the Snyders were still in New York, yet as far as she understood, Stanford was merely allowing them to stay at his home as though they were too poor to get a hotel room. Of course Emily knew that wasn’t the case, but she never inquired why the Snyders had chosen such a lengthy sojourn east, nor the reason the couple was still at Stanford’s. It wasn’t merely a couple; there was Jane, and now another baby. Stanford glanced at Laurie, sitting across from him at the kitchen table; it was only them and Agatha at the moment. Jane’s empty high chair waited in the far corner, the Snyders were still sleeping. Or maybe Eric was getting up with Jane, allowing his wife to rest. Stanford glanced at the clock; it was nearly a quarter after seven. Wasn’t Jane hungry, he wondered.
Agatha said nothing and Laurie was quiet. The Snyders’ news had brought peace to Laurie’s mind, for which Stanford was grateful. And Agatha was thrilled. Michael wasn’t yet aware, but when he learned…. Stanford shuddered. Now he knew why he was so flustered, and he felt even more uneasy, though it wasn’t connected to Lynne. Stanford stared at Laurie until he made eye contact. All Stanford had to do was rise from his chair. Laurie did the same, neither saying a word to Agatha.
At first Stanford nearly blurted his reservations just beyond the closed kitchen door. Then he paused, motioning for Laurie to follow him to their bedroom. But that was too close to where the Snyders still rested. With a huff, Stanford led his partner into the library, shutting the door behind them.
He never came into this room alone. The figurines were the reason, but he ignored them, instead considering how last night the foursome hadn’t shared their usual nightcaps. Lynne had been exhausted and it had been easy for Laurie to insist that Eric escort his wife to bed. Eric returned with Jane, but Stanford had excused himself, leaving Laurie to entertain. When Laurie came to bed, Stanford pretended to be asleep, though Laurie hadn’t permitted that ruse to last. With few words they had made love, then Stanford had lain awake for a good hour, listening to Laurie’s drones. Now he faced that man, who wore a thoughtful gaze.
“Do you wanna talk about this?” Laurie said quietly.
Did Laurie realize the reason, Stanford wondered. The incident, as Stanford now termed it, had happened early in their relationship, maybe Laurie had forgotten. Stanford cleared his throat, then nodded. “You shouldn’t have told me yet.”
Not this soon, Stanford immediately wished to add, but as soon as he’d spoken, Laurie nodded, then glanced at the floor. Then Laurie met Stanford’s gaze. “I’m sorry, oh Stan, I didn’t even think about….”
Stanford nodded, for he never considered the miscarriage his sister Louise had suffered many years ago. She and Herb had only been married a few months and they hadn’t been able to keep the news to themselves. Michael and Constance had been thrilled at the thought of a first grandchild, also the first for Herb’s parents. Louise had been in good health, but those details had been set far back into Stanford’s memories; Louise lost her baby with no explanation forthcoming.
Yet, what equally bothered Stanford was how little he had cared at the time. He recalled sitting with his father, though Laurie hadn’t accompanied. This news had only been for Stanford, who had taken it without much more than a slight nod, then a sigh. Then he’d offered some pithy sentiments, leaving his father for home, where he’d told Laurie in a similarly succinct fashion. Stanford couldn’t even remember, the information having made so small of an impression. The next time he saw Louise he had embraced her, probably awkwardly he now mused, also giving to her the same half-hearted apologies. Well over a year later, she gave birth to a son, then subsequently had two daughters. Stanford had attended few of their various activities, but his nephew Robert was in high school and Stanford would probably go to his graduation.
Whether or not Laurie joined him was irrelevant. Stanford barely knew his nephew, or his nieces, any of them. He never sent them birthday cards, nor did he receive any, other than those from his sisters. Not that Laurie was especially close to his nieces and nephews, but often he trekked to Brooklyn for this or that activity. Not for any of the Gordon women of course, just his three sisters, with whom he was quite close. All three would be at the Gordon home today, making for a clucking group of hens. Then Stanford shivered. Were Eric and Lynne planning to share their news?
“They’re not going to say anything today, are they?” Stanford asked.
“I can’t imagine they would. My God Stan, I feel so dumb. I didn’t even think about Louise and Herb.”
“Neither did I till this morning.”
As Stanford spoke, that odd heaviness was lifted from his shoulders. Now he trembled and Laurie led him to the sofa. Stanford was grateful, for his legs wobbled beneath him. Suddenly a warm joy bubbled in Stanford’s chest, yet slight guilt still lurked within him. He did care more for Lynne than how he felt about any of his sisters, perhaps that wasn’t overly surprising. Who Stanford had been years ago wasn’t anything like the person he was now.
Most of that was due to the man beside him; how much had loving Laurie changed Stanford? Yet, not all those alterations were Laurie’s doing, and again Stanford felt uncomfortable. He didn’t need to explain that to Laurie; he had already pointed it out, and rather plainly, months before. Eric, Lynne, and Jane mattered to Stanford, and now one other would be thrown into that mix, or hopefully that baby would arrive safely. Stanford closed his eyes, offering a prayer similar to the one he’d said during the Missile Crisis. When he opened his eyes, Laurie’s were misty. “What?” Stanford said abruptly. “Is there something wrong?”
Laurie nodded, making Stanford sick to his stomach. Quickly the nausea passed, though Stanford’s heart felt pained, as Laurie noted Eric and Lynne had yet to inform the Aherns. As Laurie explained why, Stanford stood, no longer feeling weak. He walked toward the figurines, then stared at the woman. For the first time, Stanford didn’t see Lynne as that statue. It was Renee Ahern pleading with God.
That night, Stanford held Jane while others fixed the evening meal. Jane fussed, but Stanford wasn’t bothered. He found Eric often glancing his way, but Stanford would shake his head, then place the whiny baby over his other shoulder. Jane quieted, maybe due to Stanford’s newfound role. Just as he felt competent, she started to fret. He clucked to himself, then walked from the kitchen, but didn’t relinquish the infant in his care.
Jane still grumbled, but Stanford bobbed her up and down, thinking about all that had occurred at Wilma’s. Now Eric and Lynne understood the great cake war, as Eric had termed it in the taxi coming home. Both Stanford and Laurie were surprised at how Eric had been cautioned by Agatha, though her warning had been mild, or at least Eric hadn’t been prepared for what one recipe meant within Laurie’s family. Stanford smiled; Agatha could be sly and he wondered what Eric might tell her tomorrow. Stanford had a full agenda at the office, but what he would give to hear that conversation.
Maybe Agatha would get to work early, or Jane would rouse her father from bed before Stanford left. He chuckled, which made Jane stop crying. He stared at her, those blue eyes looking drowsy, but still the same hue as Sam Ahern’s. Stanford felt a chill considering him, but Jane’s small grin eased Stanford’s heart. “There’s so much in this world you have no idea about,” Stanford said. “I wonder if that’s better than what we all know.”
Jane blinked, but didn’t fuss. Then she yawned, resting her head on Stanford’s shoulder. He walked slowly, then saw Eric head his way. Now Stanford smiled, even with Eric’s knowing grin. The art dealer had talked plenty of shop with his client, but Stanford had also given Lynne a strong hug upon their return from Brooklyn. He would never tell either Snyder about Louise’s loss, but maybe one day Stanford might find a way to apologize to his sister. Or maybe, he mused, the past didn’t matter anymore.
“Is it time to eat?” Stanford asked. “Or are you here to relieve me?”
“It’s just about suppertime,” Eric said. “And I can take the girl if you want.”
“It’s all right, she seems placated.” Stanford felt a deep truth uttered in that statement. Then he sighed. “Eric, I am very happy for you and Lynne.”
“It was hard not saying anything to Rose and Wilma today,” Eric smiled, “but Laurie can tell them in a couple of months. In the meantime, they can battle it out over that cake recipe.” Then Eric laughed. “I can’t wait to talk to Agatha in the morning.”
“Yes, there is that bone of contention. The recipe will probably go with Wilma to her grave.”
“Somehow I don’t see her passing it to her daughters. Maybe she could be persuaded to give it to Agatha though, for your and Laurie’s benefit.”
Stanford chuckled, but softly, as not to wake the baby. Then he cleared his throat. “Eric, Laurie told me about the Aherns.” Stanford paused; there was much attached to that subject, but little else for Stanford to say.
“I thought he might. Not much Lynne and I can do about it, and to be honest, I’m not looking forward to how they’ll take this news.”
Stanford nodded. “I suppose you’ll tell them when you get home.”
“Yeah, after Lynne sees her doctor. Stan, I do apologize, I mean….” Eric’s tone grew somber. “It’s still very early, I mean, well….”
As Stanford reached for Eric’s hand, Jane stirred. But Eric completed the action, gripping Stanford’s outstretched hand. Then Eric released Stanford, but didn’t step away. “It’ll be whatever it’s supposed to be,” Eric said. He caught Stanford’s gaze, then motioned toward the kitchen. “I think Laurie wants to eat in there. He was setting the table when I left.”
Stanford nodded, wondering if Eric could read minds. Somehow Stanford felt Eric knew about Louise’s loss, maybe Eric even understood how long it had taken Stanford to put two and two together. Or maybe Stanford permitted him too much knowledge. Yet, in how Eric nodded at him, perhaps that man was psychic as well as a brilliant painter.
But even with such gifts, Eric’s hands remained tied. Following Eric to the kitchen, Stanford wondered how Sam and Renee would react to the Snyders’ news. As Eric collected Jane from Stanford’s shoulder, Stanford smiled at Lynne, already seated at the table. Laurie was serving, and Stanford sat beside a tired but happy woman. He squeezed her hand, and she laughed, stirring within Stanford a welcome peace. These people were part of him and one more was on the way.
